It's 2:20 am

and I'm listening to the serenely soothing voice of Holly Brook and reflecting on life. The government book is just not capturing my attention anymore, so I'm taking a break from the night of cramming. Don't worry, I'll get right back to it in just a little bit.

I never thought I could be this happy with life. It's amazing how much comfort KNOWING you've found you're soul mate brings. Yes, I realize I sound naive and infatuated, but there's no other way to explain how I feel. No other word has the emphasis needed to describe the importance he plays in my life. I didn't realize it at the time, but our meeting was life-changing. Who knew his influence would change the daily routine of my everyday? I would call him my drug, but he's not just something I crave and need a dose of every hour. He's more of a necessity, rather than an addiction: air rather than crack, water rather than x. Time apart, does indeed, make the heart grow fonder, but reuniting reminds the lungs what real breathing feels like. No one ever told me the havoc a soul mate can wreak on something as natural and instinctive as breathing. I never knew loving someone felt this strong or would change someone's views so entirely. I never truly understood the expression of "my better half". He changed that for me, and I'm eternally in his debt for the blessed revelation.
I only wish I had words that could effectively portray my feelings.

This Thanksgiving left a deep, irrevocable impression on me. Grandma flew in. Karl was there. I felt like crying from the happiness and love I felt. My family was all there. It was the most incredible feeling in the entire world, and reminded my why I'm still living at home and am so hesitant to leave. I thank God, every day, for the blessings of my family, and my future husband. Never have I felt more thankful than on this past holiday.

I saw so many pregos at school today. It makes me want my gorgeous babies now. Phia is growing up so fast...I don't know how I'm going to stand being babyless another few years. Sigh. I'm such a mother.

OKay. Break is over. Back to studying.

I love windows. I love windows because they let the glorious sunshine stream through. The sunshine that makes the world seem a little less terrible for that moment. The sunshine that brings down an aura of optimism and inspiration. The sunshine that renders our hearts penetrable by love and happiness. The sunshine that blows away feelings of resent and regret. The sunshine that makes our very souls sing, wanting the whole world to empathize with this feeling of utter contentment. The sunshine that ought to be relished by every living soul for the very prospect of happiness it portrays. Sunshine is so often related with goodness and purity; it's for this very reason, that simple truth, that it should be cherished so avidly. Sunshine is soothing to the soul. I find it to be a healer of bad days and uplifting to my core. Sunshine is the reason I'm determined to live my every day to the fullest.

Now take sunshine and put it in conjunction with the magic of words. Take that sunshine streaming through your window, or shining directly down on you from outside, and read a heart-wrenching, handwritten letter. Or immerse yourself in the magic of Harry Potter. Or, perhaps, use the sunshine to help you create your own masterpiece of words. Let that sunshine infuse those words with its spirit. Let it emphasize the beauty of the English language splayed across those pages. Sunshine makes all of it that much more rapturous.

I have an obsession. To be honest, I've quite a few. But right now the one that's appearing most fervently is my obsession with letters. Letters that are handwritten and given from the heart. Letters that are sincere to their core. Letters that are trying to convey, with the utmost honesty, emotions of importance. Letters that are handwritten show that true thought was put into them...I think it brings about a deeper sense of sentimentality and vulnerability. There's something charming about seeing the scrawl of someone's hand displayed on paper for your very own eyes to see. That this letter was written with the only intent of your reading it. I've an irrepressible addiction to such letters. I read and reread them continuously. I'll write them daily. They bring me the most insane kind of joy.

Kind of like the joy that little children bring. Just seeing them waddle around. Or the joy that fills me when it's Christmas time. Or I see Karl smile. I love that man with every fiber of my being and am so glad to know I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him. That knowledge is incomprehensibly comforting.

The other thing I'm crazy-obsessed with right now is this drinkable yogurt. It's all natural and so much better than anything found at the grocery story. I found it at Sprouts. And then found the farm. It's right next to my college! That made me happy as freaking pie. (HAHAHA. I love that scene in Never Been Kissed where she's all hopped up and eats her entire pie without realizing it! Glorious.) I swear, when you drink this stuff you can literally feel it infusing your very cells with goodness and energy. Tasty tasty.

Time for a fridge-raid. And some more much needed sleep.